Female Gender Specific Toys

If you go to any high street shop now days, or even search on the internet for girls toys, you will inevitably be inundated with prams, babies, cookery items, beauty products and the like.

I have recently had a discussion on Facebook about girls toys and how they promote being 3 things; a mother, a house wife or a whore. Every time this “issue” gets mentioned, almost everyone literally jumps at the chance to call me a dick and tell me that I am wrong, but lets take a few minutes to have a look.

Lets look at the definition of a whore. To quote dictionary.com “a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet”. Now we know the definition of a whore, lets think about what the modern day whore might wear. At a rough guess she would wear a very short skirt and a revealing top. If you really need a visual helper check the photo below.

Photo from http://www.inquisitr.com/25563/man-calls-a-prostitute-his-own-daughter-shows-up-dbp/

We have established above the definition of a whore and what a whore dresses like. If we now apply what we have learnt to a Mattel product, Bling Barbie, would you consider her to be promoting “whorishness” (not that I think that’s a real word, but lets pretend for now that it is!)? I certainly would, and I would deny my daughter, Chloe, any access to such a product, simply because of that reason.

Image from - http://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-media/product-gallery/B000A7S596/ref=cm_ciu_pdp_images_all

Lets look at another word; Housewife. Again to quote dictionary.com “a woman, typically a married woman, who keeps house, usually without having paid employment”. If we break apart the quote and explain it some more it will easier to understand the meaning of “housewife”.

“A married woman, who keeps house.” If you look at that sentence alone, it literally tells us that, first it must be a woman and secondly they tidy up, they clean up, they make the house nice and presentable for the rest of the family, be it a husband and or kids.

“Usually with out having paid employment.” This tells us that it is the general norm for a “housewife” to be at home, keeping the house, without any financial contribution to the household. O.K. fair enough, if the husband doesn’t mind it, then why not? Well there’s the problem, why would a woman want to give up their life and dedicate it to cleaning or making their house pleasant? Where is the satisfaction in that? Going out and getting a job is a much more satisfying thing to be doing. It also makes you a productive member of society who actually contributes towards it!

“So?”, I hear you ask, “What’s that got to do with toys?”. Again, take a look at my first paragraph. Girls are inundated with toys that represent cooking, cleaning and the like.

My original point is that girls toys are all about promoting those 3 things; mothering, a house wife or a whore. I’m not going to bother to go into “mothering” as dolls and mechanical babies really infuriate me and by this point you are probably thinking that I have been talking for quite a long time! Well you’re right.

I am sick and tired of living a society where girls toys promote being a mother, a housewife or a whore. Why isn’t there a telescope with a picture of a girl looking through it? Why isn’t there an RC car with a girl playing it? Why is the astronaut costume got a boy in it? Why cant there be a photo of a girl shooting a boy with a Nerf gun in the advertisement? I want to inspire my daughter to be more than a mother, more than a housewife and more than a whore. Yes it’s her life and ultimately its up to her what she does when she leaves this home, but for now, I will not be letting her have any toys that reinforce an outdated concept about women, how they should act or what they should look like.

People think that toys do not influence our decisions later in life. There are countless stories in the papers, on tv and on the internet about people being inspired as children by their toys and later in life becoming a huge success and fair play to them too. This is the reason why I am careful with what toys I let my children play with. Toys are designed to stimulate and teach the child, to help them prepare to be accepted into society as they get older. To make a brighter and better society, we need to think about how our children are brought up and with with influences in their life.

If you think that I am wrong and that these toys that I have mentioned do not in any way promote what I have suggested, then please enlighten me in the comments  below.

The tonsillectomy

A while back now we asked the doctor about a tonsillectomy for Ryan. We did this because whenever he had a throat infection his tonsils increase in size dramatically, rendering him unable to breathe properly.

Yesterday Ryan underwent the operation. Ever since we got the letter through from the hospital, we told him that he was going to have the operation to remove his tonsils. We have explained the procedure and what he needs to do to prepare himself to the best of our ability. As with everything, we tell him the truth, so he knows what to expect.

While we were waiting to be seen by the anaesthesiologist and surgeon, Ryan found it very hard to sit and chill. He was excited in a way, which was a good thing. Luckily the hospital have got their own room dedicated to toys for the kids, which was good for Ryan as it gave him something to do while waiting for his operation. They even had their own Wii that the kids could play with. It had one of the games that we have at home, so Ryan was well away, owning me on Mario Kart.

At 10.10am it was time for Ryan’s operation. As we walked down to theatre, we were told to be “on the look out” for the people in the funny hats! As we approached the theatre, Ryan shouted, “There’s one!” pointing at a surgeon. He smiled and nodded at Ryan

We walked into the operating room, which felt familiar. It suddenly hit me; this was the same room that I had my vasectomy in!

The anaesthetist put Ryan’s cannula in his hand. Ryan was very brave; there wasn’t even a slight whimper out of him. The anaesthetist then put the anaesthetic in his cannula, literally five seconds later, he was snoring! Amazing stuff!

It had just gone 11am and I got a call from the nurse to say that Ryan was ready to be brought back to the ward. I walked with her down to the theatre and picked him up.

He was quite upset that I wasn’t with him when he first woke up, but soon calmed down when he saw me as he left the recovery room. The next couple of hours were spent relaxing in his bed on the ward. He eventually came home at around 5.30pm.

Give me a straight answer, please!

As you may know, if you are a regular reader of my blog, I recently spoke to my doctor and set up a Do Not Resuscitate order.

At the time, I was advised to get a medical bracelet or necklace that would inform an ambulance crew member of my wishes. Unfortunately I was never told what to write on it, as my doctor didn’t know how to word it, so he told me to look it up on a website called medicalert.org, but I am unable to find any information what so ever.

I have phoned up NHS Direct hoping that they could give me the information I was seeking but was turned away because giving me “incomplete or wrong information” could cause them legal issues.

The internet is usually an invaluable source of information, but I keep turning up empty because the majority of the information I found was written for Americans and may not be correct in this country. So that’s a dead end.

I am currently waiting on a call back from the NHS PALS which seems promising, but I won’t be getting my hopes up. If they cannot help me, I will venture down to the local ambulance station and speak to an EMT.

If all else fails, I will simply get D.N.R. engraved in large letters on my bracelet, I just hope that the EMTs who treat me will recognise this and respect my wishes.

Have you set up a DNR order for youself? Do you have a medical bracelet with your DNR wishes engraved, if so what do you have engraved?

Christmas 2011

The day actually started off all right. Kate and myself got up at 6am, got ready then woke the kids up. We presented them with their stockings, the majority of it being chocolate and a few small toys and loads of glow sticks. For some reason both kids love them.

We started to get the kids ready and before we knew it, we were bring asked, “can we open our presents yet?!” Being me, I was going to make them wait until after breakfast, so were all proper awake and in the mood for the rest of the day of arguing, shouting and the general “dad, she took my toy, tell her” crap. Instead I thought, fuck it; “They can open one present now before breakfast”.

Continue reading

The school nativities

This time every year the kids get to perform their schools version of the nativity. Both Ryan and Chloé were in the chior. i took some photos, but as I have never taken pictures in low level lighting, it was quite hard for me to get a decent image with out a lot of noise, so they haven’t turned out quite as well as I had expected.

While waiting for Ryan to finish getting ready after his play, I grabbed this picture of Chloé, she looks so cute!

Why it should be this way

I have long believed that when you die, you die, it should be for good and that no one should interfere and make life “saving” judgement calls that I do not want made. I have recently approached my doctor and enquired about a DNACPR (Do Not Attempt Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation).

Below I will explain my reasons why I think this is the right action to be taken, despite what my family thinks.

For me
If anything were to happen to me where I would die, could be resuscitated and then be left with a degraded lifestyle, this would make me severely depressed and would most likely cause me to have a break down from which I don’t think I would recover.

For my family
If I were to be involved in something that would leave me in a situation where I was being kept alive artificially, I don’t want to put the burden of leaving the decision whether to “pull the plug” or not to a family member. This could cause them more pain and possibly guilt. I don’t want this, and it is a cruel thing to make anyone do who cares about you!

Spirituality
I am a long time atheist, but obviously the “after life” is unknown, and I believe once you die, that’s it, there is no more, nothing, you “pop out of existence”. It’s a scary thought, I don’t want to die, “partially experience it” and then be brought back to life, nothingness scares me. If it is to happen that way, I would prefer it were to happen just the once thank-you!

I have spoken to my family about the DNACPR and they think I’m making the wrong decision. I have tried to make them see it from my point of view and respect it, but they can’t. My hope in writing this, is it will help them understand a bit more and hopefully once they have accepted the fact that I want this, they will support my decision.

General Medical Council – End of Life Information (PDF) Page 60 Paragraph 128 onwards.

Have you made this decision? Have you ever thought about making this decision? What are your thoughts on someone making this decision?

Transparency and truth

The truth is a funny thing when you’re dealing with kids. What should you be telling them and at what age is seen as a major factor. A while back I wrote a similar post about Ryan asking Katie and myself questions about sex. We eventually settled on answering any questions he had about the subject. Should the same be applied to everything else in life?

I believe so! I believe in a world where information about any subject, be it sex, religion, drugs or things such as Santa Claus, the Easter bunny or the Tooth Fairy should be free and distributed to anyone who has any questions about any of them.

If we live in a world where we keep things from people because “of their own good” all we will achieve is making a generation of people completely ignorant to the way things really are and should be. This is NOT a good idea! My main issues at the moment centre on religion and such things as Santa Claus.

I’ll start with religion. Each week, Ryan’s school has an assembly with some people from the local church to talk to the kids. As atheists, we have decided to pull Ryan out of these assemblies, as they simply do not have any other people from other religions in to talk to the kids, which would go against our beliefs of giving them as much information as possible to make their own decisions regarding this subject.

We would rather there be an assembly or multiple assemblies with different people from different religions talking to the kids about various religious subjects, which will help the kids to make their own decisions about religion.

If you were in my shoes, would you handle my situation differently? What would you do?

Santa Claus, ugh, I hate this subject because it’s even more controversial than my views on religion. We all know that Santa is not real and the idea of Santa is constantly being commercialised by companies to dupe parents around the world into spending billions on their kids and not even getting the credit for it.

When I finally found out about Santa not being real when I was a kid, I started to respect what my Mum bought me. She was a single parent on a low income and providing for two children. At Christmas time this was a hard feat, and looking back upon it, I wonder why she did not tell me sooner.

At any other time of the year, when you might buy a present for someone, would you like to say that the present that you have possibly spent a couple of hundred of pounds on is not from you but from someone else? I certainly wouldn’t, why is this the case for Christmas?

We have told Ryan about Santa as we have with everything else in life, and we have let him make his own decision. The problem that I face today is that we have had a complaint, of sorts, from his school. He has been going around and telling the other children that Santa is not real. This may be the truth, but obviously each parent is entitled raise their kids how they want, but should be discipline Ryan for speaking the truth, if the other parents / teachers do not agree? I certainly will not! I will how ever inform him that he needs to respect other people’s beliefs and he should be careful what he says around others as it may upset them. Should it really be done this way though? Am I alone in thinking this way? I am at a loss.

How would you deal with the issues I have raised here?

Experimenting with black and white

I have never really done black and white photos before, but today I thought I would have a go. One I took today with the help from my awesome son Ryan who graciously posed for me, and the others were taken a while back.

They aren’t the best of photos as I am still an amateur photographer, but I like them so I thought I would share!

Continue reading

Halloween 2011

We got invited to Kate’s sisters house for a Halloween party, but was originally unable to come because we were relying on public transport to get us back home, after 7pm it becomes hourly!

We decided that the buses going hourly wasn’t going to keep us from having fun, so when Kate finished work, I met up with her and we headed over to Kacy’s house for a night of fun!

We dressed Ryan up as a zombie for the party, he wasn't too sure about it at first, but the sword with dripping blood and reassurance made all the difference!

A huge skull hanging from the garden canopy. It looks pretty cool!

Continue reading

Farley Mount Country Park

Yesterday we were asked if we wanted to tag along with Katie’s sister, Kacy, and her kids when they went to Farley Mount. Never have been there before we said yes.

I done some research and it looked like some where we were going to have loads of fun! It looked to be somewhere similar to Moors Valley Park, which we had been to previously, and had loads of fun!

You can check out where Farley Mount Country Park is on the map below.



Continue reading

Fitness

Getting fit again has been on my agenda for a long time now, and I have finally come up with a plan that will allow me to achieve my goal of getting back down to a weight of around 200lb or 90Kg, however I would prefer to get down to around 75Kg, and today is the start of a long project to help me get back to that ideal weight for myself.

I hope to lose somewhere between 1 – 3 lbs or more per week. Which will put me at my ideal weight roughly in 1 – 2 years. This is a long-term commitment, and I think I am ready for the challenge.

I have recently bought a cross trainer for myself to help burn off all the excess weight that I am carrying. Along with this, I intend to stick to a strict but healthy diet, which I will outline another time.

During the next few years I will be writing about my experiences trying to lose weight and get fit once again. I would like to ask anyone who has any negative comments to please keep them to themselves, as this could badly influence how motivated I get, and then screw my up my entire plan, which I don’t need right now and I hope you can respect that. I need all the support and encouragement I can get from friends and family and anyone else who is willing to offer it! If you find that you do need to say something, words of encouragement are more than welcome.